Valentines Day Reflection: Massacre of the Heart for Sure:

Hey everyone! I promised I would check in more often in 2019, so here I am.. As I approach the arrival of my 33rd birthday in 2 days, I reflect on what I am feeling about life right now. I feel like both a success as well as such a horrible failure. I feel as though someone who is my age should be entirely in a different place than where I feel I am. Now, I know you're not supposed to compare yourself to others and everyone has their own paths and own timing for things to happen, blah, blah blah.. but I can't help it. My birthday is also on Valentine's Day which constantly throws in someone's face just how alone they are, when the day is set aside for couples. Now, I don't know if I mentioned in my last posting about my recent breakup or not.. So, if I did, I apologize for repeating myself, but I guess I didn't realize how big of a sting that left on me. I had fully invested myself into making the relationship work this time, (he and I had dated briefly before when we were younger), and I thought that since we were older, we were more ready to have a mature adult relationship. I was wrong. While I was the one constantly saying for us to have open communication, and was the one to bring things out to the open, by calling them to a head, when I knew or felt things were awkward, he however could never do that without lashing out at me. He would hold things until he cracked, and then I became the whipping post to receive the brunt of his outbursts. This is, and was not OK. It never is. It turns out, he was hiding some pretty dark secrets from me, as well as himself, and has struggled to admit them outwardly, and that's why he would burst when he did. When he finally did open up about these secrets or his truths, my jaw was left on the floor. He had cheated on me, and waited an entire week to confess at the very least. Which this is not OK whatsoever either. Due to the circumstances, that cannot be divulged by myself, it was extremely obvious we could not stay in a relationship. I was not willing to be put in a place where I was constantly left wondering or questioning whether he was consistently doing stuff behind my back, or that whenever he had moments of weakness or was feeling neglected, that he wouldn't step out on me again. Therefore, this is the last time I want to talk or think about it. I will not be made to feel guilty for making the decision to self preserve. I will stand strong in it, as a strong woman, for I know it is what is right for me, and that God has my back on it. I did nothing wrong to deserve that. I deserve a true and genuine man, and a future, filled with love, devotion, happiness, and the possibility of being able to mother children, and to not have my family be broken up by heartbreak later on. That is never fair. So, when I am told by both him and those who surround him, that they need or want answers, and or that "the ball is in my court" to still make a decision on whether or not we can still be together or not, no, I'm sorry, but that decision was made when he did what he did.. Regardless of whether or not it "was a one time thing" or "will never happen again".. The fact it is, it did. So, in doing so, his and my story is officially closed, never to be taken off the bookshelf of life again. That is it. Phew, thank goodness I got that off my chest before starting my new year in life. A new and beautiful WOMAN. Until next time, I love and appreciate you all!!

Wow, in a couple weeks, It has been almost 2 YEARS!!

Hi everyone, I cannot believe that on February 20th, it will have been 2 years since I checked in on this/my blog! That's crazy! Since then, A LOT has changed. I don't even know where I left off, but I have decided to, and am hoping to be able to use this blog as a tool to help others, as well as an outlet of release and help myself as well again.. Well, to start off, I have actually been attending online grad school since September 2018, for my Master's degree in Social Work, and it has proven to be both very rewarding as well as very challenging at the exact same time. However, with a very good supportive system through great friends, I do not regret any one bit of it. However, the biggest change in my life of semi recent, occurred in October of 2017, when I underwent the process of gastric sleeve bariatric surgery. This process has also proven to also be very rewarding but has also been more difficult to emotionally adjust to, than I ever thought it would be.. 10/25/18 marked one year from when I began my weight loss journey through the procedure, and I still can't believe it has been even more over a year already, wow! As I have previously posted on my other social media outlets, some of these thoughts are not anything new to be shared. {I have since been told that I am a liar for not initially publicly sharing this fact. For this, I apologize if anyone is offended that I did not tell them right away. It was not that I was trying to deceive anyone as to how I was doing this, I just wanted the first year of my journey to be for me, and about my growth and learning around the process, before I let EVERYONE in on it. The reason for this was also due to the fact that the procedure sometimes is viewed as a "cop out" into losing weight, and I did not want negative comments or any kind of backlash as I was, and very much still am, learning how to adjust to this new lifestyle everyday. It also very much can be even more of a struggle, and even more difficult just because of the restrictions that are required to maintain it successfully, because yes, you can have adverse outcomes. So, in all reality, it truly can be anything but "easy" or a cop out". However, I chose it as the best option for me because it was a struggle for me over many years through in just trying other diets suggested by my doctors, it was/is also especially hard for me to loose weight with already being disabled, which when you already have a body that struggles, it struggles even more to move with any access weight. Therefore, it becomes a horrible cycle. You can't move with the weight, but you also have to be able to move to be able to lose any. I knew for me, that I was, and am strong enough to do it, because I am a fighter. Even though I publicly withheld this fact, and I often had more emotional bumps along the road, than I ever thought I would; due to both my own adjusting, but also others' reactions from their own discomfort with the idea, I do not regret this journey whatsoever. All because of what it has allowed for me to regain ability and and mobility wise.. As well as gaining abilities I've never even had before. And therefore, everything was and still is entirely worth it, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.} Now, as of January 2019, I have come to realize that due to the fact of having been so successful in losing the weight, and having become the most able bodied I have EVER been, even over my most "abled" that I was beforehand, I ask myself and even others, why would I EVER want to give that up?! This body, to me, is the best body I have ever been given, and/but or even though I also was the only one chose to change it, to get where I am in this moment. However, I have also had to now come to realization that I may actually be struggling a great deal more now somewhat with some issues and doubts that come with body image. Since August of 2018, I have had 2 relationship attempts, which have since broken up, by something the other parties caused. However, even though it was their thoughts and opinions that I was too inadequate or even "too disabled" for them, that came out in the process of breaking up, and to (which/when really they were projecting their own inadequacies they were feeling about themselves onto me, and I can't help or change those for them), it still has left a sting in my side to a certain degree, which I did/had/have not directly acknowledge{d} after either split, that leads me to question, are any parts of their projections true? Recently, I was also told by another friend, to whom, I greatly value, treasure, admire, love, and respect that they have seen a change in me. Yes, for the good, but that they feel I have lost parts of my levels of self confidence, and that I am not who I was when we first met. This was very hard for me to hear from them because I feel that through being on this journey, in my opinion, that I am the MOST confident I have ever been, because I feel I that have found, and have finally reached my truest self. So, in a way, I so completely and horrifically terrified of reverting back to how/who I was body-wise ever again though.. This conclusion however, also leaves me to question, are all the aforementioned individuals right to a degree then, as well? Have I really lost myself, have I changed too much? Whereas, I personally, am still with the feeling like/that I could and still should be doing more on this journey, while others are telling me that I need to maybe start considering regaining back some of the weight, and that I may be, or am "very/too thin/ underweight", what does this mean for me?

Finding my way in the world..

Hi everyone! It has been such a long time since I logged onto my blog, almost three years! It's so bizarre to think that that much time has flown by, when yet so much, but nothing has really changed.. Since I last wrote, I finally graduated with my bachelor's degree in social work! So exciting right? I thought it would be, especially since it has always been a dream of mine since I was 5 years old. It was supposed to be the one thing that I always figured would make me feel the most able bodied I ever have, by being seen on an equal playing field through my academics, that's why I always did well, and nearly killed myself working hard in school. Only now, it's just a piece of paper and I'm back in the same boat I was before. I am constantly seeing my able bodied counterparts pass me by in career advancement, when the only true differing factor is that they're able bodied and I'm not. I went into a field where I hoped that wouldn't matter, but yet, it somehow still does. So the one thing that I always hoped would help me feel the most equal, doesn't.. I know that this whole equality thing is something within myself that needs to be worked on, and can't be solved through something else, and I've even sought counseling for it, but still, when is it going to be my turn where things finally don't have to be so hard? When everyday of your life is difficult, a person can kind of just get sick of it, and just wish they could start over, and that's unfortunately where I am right now. This past week I turned 31 years old.. I was excited to see my 20s go, and turning 30 was cool, but for some reason turning 31 to me is officially old. It is hard to realize that of almost all my social circles, I am the only one left who is single and who has no children. This is another thing where I always thought I'd feel the most able bodied, because if it was that I was able to have kids, I'd be THERE. There being the place with everyone else, because it would be taken seriously that I can literally do the same that the majority of all women can do in the biological sense, for once my body could be viewed as something that succeeded in the human purpose, and not as a failure. However, here I am, still with internal failure stamped on my soul. Still, I seem to somehow keep my head high, and carry on because that is how I've always fought through this life, and I know no other way, but sometimes I am just plain tired and have the right to feel down. No person should have to feel like they've been beating their head against a brick wall for 30 years, all just to belong. This past weekend I was called a "fat old hag" and for some reason that just really killed me. I know that it's not on me for someone to be a jerk, but it still hurt me, and was really hard to not internalize and wonder if really in some bizarre way they were outing why I was/am somehow alone. In my past I've had men tell me, "well your disability doesn't bother me, but..." as if really to hint or say it does/did... Leaving me to feel like my disability was disgusting and that I was ugly and always will/would be.. Many people ask me all the time why I love Austin so much, and it's because among many things, he gave me the gift of everything I have ever wanted in the previous paragraphs. My soul was the freest it ever was. He gave my the gift of seeing and knowing my own beauty and that I was unbreakable. For he told me once that that is what Dooley means, "unbreakable beauty." He gave me the gift of belonging and being needed, that I had longed for for 17 years, before he literally saved me from myself and from falling. To him, I was able bodied and perfect just as I was, I was always included, and if I couldn't be, he wasn't doing it. So, for 8 years, 3 months and 10 days, I was blessed to get to experience everything I had ever wanted. I mattered. Now that gift in who Austin was, and what he brought to my life are just a memory and a blip on the radar of this journey known as life as I have to travel forward as a strong but lone fighter, knowing that greatness can exist in your life, even if it does only for a short time, it can, it does, and it WILL, AGAIN.

Fighting through Surviving:Scared to death

Hey guys, it has literally been years since I have last posted anything, and I wish it was on better terms. I have been working up the courage to write these thoughts, and it takes me a lot more time to process language formation anyways these days. I am dealing with something that is extremely unanswerable, and because of that my life from how I always knew it is now falling apart. This past summer I went to the dentist for what one would assume would be a routine dental cleaning, and in the process ended up getting my jaw dislocated by the "dentist". Needless to say, I will never go to a dentist again ever because of it. I would rather place myself in front of a firing squad than ever loose what I have again due to that awful person. Side effects of it all have been way beyond what any person could or would ever imagine. Aside from the given physical issues of jaw pain, neck pain, and thoracic spine pain, I also now have language distortion issues in understanding how sentences are formulated, what was said by others, and difficulty also retaining information. I live in the moment all the time now, and not in a good way. I can't see beyond what is going on in the literal minute, and my short term memory is lost. Any memories I do have now come to me in image flashes instead of full stories like they used to. I am living in an existential crisis, because I also experience disconnect from my body, and question how we know how to automatically respond to everything, either through sentence formation when that doesn't make sense to me, or question instinct I.E. answering phones, watching TV, using computers or any inanimate object in life etc. None of these issues ever existed before getting my jaw dislocated, so it is hard not to think that they are all because of it. Even though I can write sentences, reading them back gets super jumbled, same with auditory listening. How do we know how to do what we do, and not wonder? How do we know what people are asking to then know how to answer? Long story short, I can't turn this high alert situation off, and it is what is driving me literally crazy. I don't feel emotion anymore or connections to people like I used to, I barely feel like I know people, only that I'm supposed to, hence the in the moment conversations/interactions, because people are who are there to speak to. Intrusive thoughts and nightmares or no dreams at all often come too. I don't even remember my childhood. I used to be a person who remembered entire situations inside and out. Now I don't even feel connections to my own details (my name or my birth date for example, how do we know to appropriately respond to those?) It's as if I'm like a robot who just boots up every morning and somehow knows how to interact, when I myself seem to just float through and question reality. Other sensations I still continue to get are limb and tongue tingling, as well as tongue numbness and metallic tasting though my mouth. My heart has also now started palpitating all on its own, at odd hours, even the middle of the night from dead sleep or cruising down the sidewalk, so I know its not from a panic attack either. It is all very terrifying. I am living through all of this alone medically because nobody medically oriented or other wise has any answers. I'm tired of being told it's "just anxiety or stress, or it's just from your/my jaw" when I know my body, and I normally don't fuss about anything for this long unless I know something is wrong. I've been spurting blood before and carried on limping through dirt while drunk on tequila, or after getting my face bashed into the concrete after a nasty fall on ice, and many much worse, so when I say something is up, something's up. I'm sick of professional people asking me "and how do you feel about that?" and telling me that they can only help me through the emotions of it all, when they already know how I feel, and that it sucks ass, hardcore! I want my life back! I've always been a fighter since birth, and have never really given up, but if that's where this is going, I guess I'm OK with it. I have never once gave any thought to life after death, but if all of this is happening to help my soul part from my body, I'm ready. I'm not afraid to die, I'm only scared of not getting to see myself happy again before it happens. I would give anything to live my life one day completely normal as it was before the trauma. I would love to see one of my life dreams besides walking get to come to fruition before going, though knowing that Austin is on the other side of this waiting for me to join him, ready to jump, run, skip and dance with me for all of eternity makes this all just a tiny tad easier. Part of me dreads when I wake up in the morning now, because that means that I'm just stuck in this pattern once again for at least the time being or that day, when there is the other side of me that knows that Austin is giving me the push I need to make it through that particular day because that may be the day that everything gets restored, but yet, I'm still waiting. My life has been hard and sad enough, and I think the universe needs to make up its mind already, if I'm not dying through this, my spirit sure is and I don't know how much longer it'll be able to hold on.

Letter to a Angel..

My Dearest Austin, Man, it has been forever since I wrote those words. I can't remember the last time I wrote you a letter, I think the last time was at your memorial service, to go in your family's memory keepsake box, and as I said that day, I don't know how to sum up any or all the words to truly explain just how much you meant to me in the very depths of my soul, because you truly had all my words with you, and you still do to this day, they left this earth the moment you did. I have been able to recall small blips of memories to share with everyone online, but I still don't think anyone will ever know, heck, I don't even think you knew most days, even when I told you. How did we get here though, to the day when everything I write you now has to be past tense? Even though time has past, and I've let go of you, the most I'll ever be able to, it's still just simply not fair. How is it that one of the greatest people I will ever know and love in all of my life had to be taken, and horrific and terribly awful people still get to be here??? Without you here, the world I now live in is just an existence, I'm so not even kidding you bubs, not even a little bit. I am still haunted by that one reoccurring dream you knew of, that one I used to have all the time of you stuck in the pitch black dark woods, calling out for me to come find and help you, since I'm the only one who can hear you, while you are being trapped/tortured and you're in pain and I have to get to you to make it stop. So, I run against time every time, and just before I reach you, you start to flat-line and my legs turn to noodles just before our hands grasp and we are able to save one another. We always saved each other both in the figurative subconscious and the literal conscious life. Though now, looking back, I know exactly what it was that my mind was trying to tell me was causing you such pain, and I'm so blessed to have gotten to be who I was to you, and to stand by and "save" you in whatever way I could. I remember once how you wrote me, and told me I was a miracle that was brought to your life, and how I was a gift from/and how you believed in God, when really you were also all those things for/to me as well. What freaks me out the most though is that just before you left us, I began having the dream again only now just before we reached each other you flat-lined, and I fell down a spiraling hole as my noodled legs then became part of the ground.-- I was unable to save you, and that's the way it reoccurs now.. Why wasn't I able to save you? In dream or reality, when just who I was and my faith/belief in you was enough before? You always came back. I recall all the moments you came back with such unbelievable fondness, the moments I would hear the Dooley Call from behind me, and for me to stop and turn around to find you holding your hands out for me to "run" to you to be then spun around in a hug of being reunited. I ask myself that all the time, you really should just get to be here with us, period. There's also another dream I only have now since you've gone, where I go with you, the same way you went, holding your hand as we both go together, so that we are not alone. That's the thing though, why would I dream something like that, when you never let our friendship be effected by that world? We were just us when we were together, Austin and Dooley, that's it. We were untainted, we of course knew of it, but just never spoke of it, our friendship was pure, innocent, and an all around genuine bond just for who the other person was, and for what we meant/brought to the other's life. We never once fought, or were mean to the other, ever. You never once even wanted me to worry or to be sad ever either. The second you thought I was ever gonna cry over anything, you were the one who was there with open arms for a hug, and you promised me that you would always be there when I needed you, to be my family, and that I would always have a family in/with you. You did everything and or anything to make me happy, anything to bring a smile to my face, including saying "yes" to prom. We were going to be the "Pimpinest couple there," as you called it, in our sparkling red. Only we never got to show that off. So, I guess that's what the most recent dream shows me, that whenever I really am meant to join you, I really won't be alone, because I'll have you there with/waiting for me, and we'll finally get to have our dance in our red threads, and finally run that race we owe eachother. I look forward to all the things we'll get to do once we're together again someday, and therefore, I am no longer scared of dying. I can't wait to ride rainbows with you, and throw snow and weather conditions down at/to people down here on Earth. As I once told you BubbaLove, I have always envisioned my heart to be filled with many more little hearts inside of it, and each person in my life holds an individual heart of mine all their own.. Our friendship though, the Austin and Dooley duo, held/holds the "box" if you will that holds all those said hearts. The heart of all the hearts, my heart.:) I know you're still with me everyday as I still talk to you vocally, but I miss writing you, so I think I may keep it up, my blog will get to have a special section just for you now, so that you can receive updates on the adventures you are sending my way. I love and miss you bunches bubs, everyday, more than you'll ever know... *Pounds* and ~Swiggles!!!~ to you forever and always, Lovin'! 4 Life!!!! Love, Your DooleyGirlLove

With my whole heart, more than my life...

Hey everyone, I realized this morning that I haven't written a blog in almost 2 years, and so I wanted to leave my mark once again.. It has been a very fast, life changing couple years of growth as an individual for me, and I don't even know where to begin truthfully.. Many of you, who are already following me on Facebook, know a lot of what I'm going to write about already, but it's nice to get it all out in writing.. I used to write all the time, journaling, letters, all of that, but then it was as if I lost my voice, and all my words were gone.. My heart had stopped too. It all started the day I found out my best man and guardian angel had passed away. At that point Austin had been a part of my life for 8 years, 3 months, and 10 days.. And those were the best days I'll ever know. I've written about Austin before in a couple of my most previous entries to this one, so I don't think I need to repeat myself too much, but some things still need to said. Austin simply was one of the greatest people I'll ever know, he is the reason I'm even still here so that other people can still have me in their lives. Many people won't know until now that I was in a very dark place within myself when I met him, and he's the person who brought me out of that. I never told anybody this, but now it'll be out there for everyone, but that throughout my life I had gotten really good at holding in the hurt, and putting a smile on just to give me strength to make it through daily life, in a sense up until he walked into my life, (or more like ran into my life), and could break down those walls, it was a lie to the rest of the world, but it was what I had to do to make it through, and he saw that. It's like he knew it from the very beginning without my needing to ever say anything at all about it, we were kindred spirits in that way I guess. Our spirits were drawn to the other's, especially mine to his, because I could sense his genuineness, the trueness, the love, and family all staring back at me. It wasn't as if he had known me for years and had grown up into any of our bond like most other people, it was straight off the bat for him, which kind of actually took me aback for a minute, most people eased their way into knowing me and walked on egg shells for a very long time, but not Austin, I was his Dooley girl from hello. I was normal and I was beautiful just simply as me, I was everything I had wanted to be to everyone else to him right away. He believed in me in a way nobody else did, and that alone among many other things from him truly saved me in so many ways, through his love I felt like I mattered again, and that in itself helped me to believe in myself again. I was needed by him as the other half of our best friend duo, and so I just had to be there.. To encourage him too, to greet his smile with my smile, to have my arms open for a hug whenever he needed one, and to have my hand available if either of us needed another to hold. He would ask me daily, "have you saved/changed the world yet today, Dooley?" And if I would say "no" he would then say, "well then Dooley girl, you're nowhere near done". Those words now resonate in my head everyday, and give me all the more reason in the world to still keep going, even if it means that now it has to be without him. "Without him" I really truly hate the idea of that. To this day, I still haven't let myself realize that he's really "gone". It took me 6-9 months to grieve the loss of his earthly shell, but I know that he in every other aspect is still here with me. In small gestures he still sends signs that save me from myself, mental/emotionally and physically everyday, so that I don't fall figuratively or literally. I mean lets face it, we met by both being late to the same class and nearly knocking each other out as we were trying to get through the door, and he caught me as I nearly fell on my face, and we sat next to each other and were inseparable since. So how could he not still be here for me? He's still the reason a smile reflects back to me in a mirror, how I can look at myself and tell myself I'm amazing, beautiful, a rock-star, and many more gifts all because of him. I hope now people will be able to respect just how much he meant to my life, and the saving of it, and just how much we loved each other as best friends to the other. Before him, I never thought I'd ever be seen, but in being given the gift of Dooley, I truly was. There will never be anybody who will ever adore me, the ground I walked on, or even the fact that I walk at all, quite like he did, I was on a pedestal, perfect as I am, and so was he for me. We saw each other beyond how the world around us saw us. Accepted. Lovin'! 4 Life, BubbaLove. :) Together we had a dream that we would one day open up an agency that would help disabled people and people battling addictions. Well bubs, that agency will open. Your Dooley graduated in 2012 with my AA, and now I'll be transferring to CSU in the fall,just as we always planned, and the dream will live on all because of you. So, that is what I have been up to the past couple years everyone, getting the first part of my education done, and continuing on. Austin was there when I made the decision to officially finish my AA, he got to be a part of my first 3 months back into it, and he was there as I walked across that stage and got my diploma, just as he always said he would be, and he was there as I got my acceptance letter to CSU as well.. The hardest most bittersweet lesson I had to get throughout all of this now in getting everything academically I've always wanted, is that sometimes you have to loose your whole world in one person to get to where you stand today, and as Austin said as I made that decision, "If you do this, I'll be with you every step of the way Dooley, cheering the loudest at every turn, and at your graduation(s)", and you know what? I know he was and still will be too!!!! "Always and forever!!!" :)

Black Apples records, Dooley Lovin'!, laughs, motors, and a favorite baby: What a BUSY few months its been!! :)

Hey Everybody, I know it's a little late, but welcome to the year of 2011 in my blogging! It has been a crazy fast few months since I last wrote you last year. I don't really have that much to share as of yet for this year, but I'll share what I do have/know.. The first thing that comes to mind though is the birth of my newest God given nephew, Wesley. He was born to my very dear friends, Austin and Amy, on December 21st 2010, at 7lbs, 11 Oz.. I know I'm probably biased, but he is the BEST, and my most favoritest baby EVER!! :) It's so hard not to love him so so very much, or smile every time I look at him. I am so completely honored and blessed to be his Aunt Dooley, "Lovin'!" is for life little man! Mini *Pounds* and ~Swiggles!~ to you!!❤

This year in February, I turned 25 years old. It was my best birthday to date, besides being born of course. :) I had a bowling party that was a lot of fun, and for the first time ever, everyone that was invited who confirmed showed up, so, that in itself made the day extra special. I also got just what I asked for, and that was that all my gifts be from the heart, and I loved them all! I have reminders of that great day all around me in my house now, everywhere I look, so that always brings a smile to my face. As of today, (a month and two days later from my party), I even still have my helium balloons and flowers that were given to me, that's priceless! :) The greatest gift though was something that probably only makes sense between me and one other person. This year was the first birthday my forever best and favoritest friend, Austin and I, were actually able to celebrate/share together in the same room, and in person, for what has almost been in the last 8 years of knowing each other. Due to life's circumstances, we have always only been able to celebrate it together from afar, by sending cards and gifts, so that is why it will forever be land marked into the very vaults of my heart. He will forever and always be my true guardian angel and everyday hero, with such love to you buddy!! ❤

Now here we are in the third week of March, and there are only a few events that really stick out to me out so far. First is the fact that I'm looking into going back to school, for once, that's very self explanatory and to the point. Next was the return of my boys, the Black Apples, to town for their spring tour on March 5th. :)!!! This year was also actually in celebration of their first record, which is and was AWESOME!! Ziggy and I are so very proud of our boys!! :) While at this year's show, the other band performing was the Wire Faces, who also lived near the boys and I during our "Summer of Love," as Ian called it, so the whole thing was like one very awesome old "purple house block" family reunion! It was so fun! I took charge and enjoyed and was very honored to be both bands' Merch girl. I loved every minute of it, and getting the shout outs during their performances. I never knew just how much they cared about and or valued me. It meant the world to know just how much, more than they'll all ever know. ❤ In the end, a dream came true, and I got a signed copy of the record from the boys!:) I so LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, it's so giftedly awesome and fabulous!!! I'm so not even kidding, if you ever get the chance, go to oragamivinyl.com and buy one!!


On March 10th, my good friends Christina, Joy, and I went and saw Christian comedian Chonda Pierce perform, and it was a great, fun, and very hilarious time!! :) If you also ever get the chance to check her out/look her up, I highly recommend it!! :)

Last but not least, with the help of Disabled Resource Services, and my dear friend Christina, as of Monday, I now have a new power wheelchair to help me get around town for distances, and short errands, I'm so excited!!.. I just have to get used to the thing since the joystick control is super touchy, but I hope to master it very soon!! It has been dubbed Grease Lightning by my best friend Kendrie, and so now all I need is a helmet with flames on the sides, some ski goggles, and I'm ready to buckle up out of the atmosphere... Vegas here I come!! JK!!... Or am I?! lol. Weee!!! :)